Chill Pill

Had to delete my post from earlier this morning. It didn't make much sense, so let me elaborate:

Last week I applied for a job, and was sent a hurtful e-mail in return. This, added to my already non-existent self esteem, caused a huge problem for me. I'm still not quite over it just yet, and honestly, I don't know how to really pick myself up. I can't sleep. I feel so very, very low. There are so many items on my 'to do' list piling up because I can't get going. *must.fix.me*

This morning mom treated me to a cut and colour at the hairdresser. I enjoyed getting out a little and chatting to the other ladies. The part that was soul destroying was seeing clumps of my hair fall out during washing and combing. Near the end, I sat in the chair, and wept... I don't feel very pretty, or feminine, as is. And my hair has become so thin. I'm trying to tell myself to enjoy it while I still have it... that there are others out there who have the same problem, or even worse. The hairdresser, for example, has a pulmonary disease of sorts, and only has 40% lung capacity remaining. She works in the mornings as she's too tired to even stand by the afternoon, and can not walk very far. I should be grateful that I am able to walk and do so many things that others out there can't. I went to the store afterwards, and saw a lady with shaved hair. She looked lovely, and most importantly, she looked happy. If it comes to that, then so be it. :)

And now on to meds: I bought some Inositol this morning. On the label it reads:

Assists with stress, insomnia, depression and anxiety. Enhances immune system and brain function. Promotes hair growth.

Hello! I was sold! I know a lot of PCOS women take it and have had good results. I popped one this afternoon after lunch, along with a vitamin D and Cinnachrome, and must admit that I feel a little less anxious. Groovy! Hopefully it's not because I'm over-tired. Will see how I feel on them tomorrow. *holding thumbs*

Today is day 1 of the Clean and Lean Diet too, and all has gone well. I didn't know how I'd cope with eating spinach for breakfast, but it was very yummy! I've added a 'Food Log' to my blog, and will keep on updating as I go along. It's only the first day so I have not (yet) had any detoxing headaches, aches and/or pains. hehe

D should be home from work any minute now, so best I go and make some dinner.

Ally
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